When I worked my friends were lawyers. Now Iam in the mental health system most of them are nutty. I guess it takes one nut to know another. It can be very draining – the demands are in someways much greater than in ‘normal’ friendships.About 18 months ago nf1 would phone me on a nightly basis threatening to throw herself into the reservoir or electrocute herself in the bath. The reservoir threat was not an idle one – she is known in the system as ‘The lady of the lake’ because of her midnight swims. At the same time another friend was very low and I spent a lot of time talking to her. At one stage I felt that I was running a telephone counselling service.I ended up in hospital due at least in part to the stresses. But they carried on phoning whilst i was there. And visiting.
About a year ago nf1 found a dog. Literally – she came across him in the street, decided he was stray and adopted him. Since then her life has turned round. She is now so obsessed with the animal she has no time to think of herself. Her only visits to the reservoir are to walk Tigger. In any event she is no longer talking to me. She fell out with nf3, who was a longstanding friend, over a box of cigarettes. When I carried on talking to nf3 she decided that I was being disloyal. I thought I had left all this sort of thing behind when i gave up law.
Nf2 is currently in a bad way. In fact she has been bad for months and nothing seems to pull her out of it. She is 1 of 19 children, a sizable proportion of who suffer from either bipolar or schizophrenia. Her mother committed suicide as did 2 of her siblings – one 2 years ago today. Her genes are very much against her. There is nothing much i can do save phone her everyday and make sure she has food in the house. They are just about to start her on another antidepressant but she is not holding her breath.
As a digression I worked out today that I take 26 pills a day – 14 different medication spread out 7 times in the day/evening. I recently went to the GP feeling fairly fit and came out with a diagnosis of diabetes, high cholestrol, low folic acid and various other things. It all amounted to a sheaf of scripts. At least I don’t have to pay for my prescriptions.
Owing to the leak yesterday I had to empty a cupboard in the backroom because that is where the loft hatch has conveniently been placed. I discovered a whole rail of work clothes – skirts and jackets – can’t remember the last time I wore a skirt. And then there was my robe for court. It was all quite poignant as I dumped them in a black bag to take to the local charity shop.
I had my car serviced and MOTed today. Always a nerve racking experience. The good news was that it past. The inevitable bad news was that it will need 2 new tires and a complete exhaust system within the next few months. At least it gives me time to start saving. I need to find a few more committees to sit on.
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